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"The Wrong Way Home" by Sandra Walsh

Scene 1

MICHAELA

(friendly) Hey, where did you go?


ROSAMIE

(dejected) Sorry. I’m heading home.


MICHAELA

(surprised) What? But it’s not even 11 o’clock!

You said you would stay til closing time.

(plead) Come back. You’re the only one who can keep up with my dance moves.


ROSAMIE

Sorry, I already got a taxi.


MICHAELA

Get it to turn around!

I thought you were looking forward to tonight. What changed your mind?


ROSAMIE

I suddenly felt really sick.


MICHAELA

Did you throw up in the bathroom?

I got thrown out of the bar the last time I did that. There’s no shame in it.


ROSAMIE

No.

I just wanted to leave.


MICHAELA

(guilt trip) You should’ve at least said goodbye.


ROSAMIE

(defeated) I couldn’t find you.


MICHAELA

The queue at the bar was insane. It took me nearly fifteen minutes to get served. And they got my order wrong.

(concern) Are you sure you’re okay?

It’s not like you to go off on your own.


ROSAMIE

I know. Sorry.

Don’t worry, I’ll be alright.


MICHAELA

(unsure) Okay, if you’re sure.


Scene 2

MICHAELA

Hey, that skinny guy with the glasses is asking about you.

Is he the one you told me about? The one that keeps conveniently bumping into you at work?


ROSAMIE

(beg) Ugh. Please don’t tell him I’ve gone home.

I don’t even want him to know the general direction I went in.

Just say I went to another party. With a guy.


MICHAELA

Gotcha.

What’s his deal anyway?


ROSAMIE

He comes into the cafe all the time when I’m working. Normally he seems harmless, even if he is a bit strange.

(uncomfortable) But he was getting way too touchy-feely with me tonight.


MICHAELA

You should have told me.

(jovial) I would’ve been your bodyguard all night. Nothing scares off a guy more than a girl who has no tolerance for his bullshit.


ROSAMIE

He got me a drink, but I didn’t see him buy it. So I don’t know what was in it.

(uncomfortable) When I said “no thanks”, he got really persistent. Not really aggressive… but he wasn’t backing down.


MICHAELA

(scoff) He’s probably one of those “nice guys” who think buying you shit means you owe them something.

You didn’t ask for a drink, so you didn’t have to take it.


ROSAMIE

I know. I wish I had the nerve to say that to him.

I’m suspicious of anyone who insists I take something from them.

Especially since I barely know him.


MICHAELA

You’re suspicious of everything a guy does.

But he wouldn’t have the balls to spike your drink. Not with all those people around.


ROSAMIE

(unsure) I don’t know. It happens.


MICHAELA

Did you take the drink?


ROSAMIE

Eventually.

He was getting pushy so I took it to be polite.

I only took one sip but after a while I started feeling queasy. I got worried.

I didn’t want to be around him if anything happened.


MICHAELA

Do you feel like passing out?


ROSAMIE

Not really. I just feel nauseous.


MICHAELA

That could be the paranoia.

Or the shots you had earlier.

I wouldn’t worry about it if I were you.

(protective) Still, you should have told me. I would have made sure you got home safe.


ROSAMIE

(apologetic) I know. I’m sorry. I wasn’t really thinking straight.

There was a taxi waiting outside the bar when I went out for some air.

I was so eager to leave, and I didn’t want him to follow me outside and see where I went, so I jumped in on impulse.


MICHAELA

Well at least you’ll feel better when you get home.


ROSAMIE

Yeah…

The taxi driver is being so weird though.


MICHAELA

Weird how?


ROSAMIE

Creepy weird. He just asked where I’m from.

Said I looked very “exotic”.


MICHAELA

(disgusted) Ew. I hate that.

How many nationalities did he cycle through before you replied?


ROSAMIE

Just one. But he was way off.


MICHAELA

I’m surprised!

Usually guys like that will rhyme off every Asian country they can think of before they get it right.

I feel like saying “hey, this isn’t a trivia game y’know! You don’t get bonus points for guessing it right on the first try!”

How old is he anyway?


ROSAMIE

I’m not sure. I don’t want to stare.

Maybe 50? I can never guess someone’s age right.


MICHAELA

I can’t decide if that’s better or worse.

What else is he saying?


ROSAMIE

He’s asking what I do for a living.

What I was doing out tonight.

If I have any kids.


MICHAELA

Oh, boring old conversation starters.


ROSAMIE

(anxious) I wish it was boring. It seems kind of invasive to me…

I thought if he saw me on my phone, he would take the hint that I don’t want to talk.


MICHAELA

(scoff) Old guys have no boundaries.

My boss sees me reading a book during my lunch break and he takes that as an invitation to sit down and ask me about every detail of the story until lunch is over.


ROSAMIE

Ugh I shouldn’t have told him I work at a cafe. Now he’s asking me which one.

(anxious) What should I say?

[Pause]

(disgusted) Now he’s asking if I’m texting my “boyfriend”.

Why would he even say that?


MICHAELA

Okay I’ll admit that’s a little weird.

He might think he’s being friendly.

Or he’s flirting with you.

You should just agree. If he thinks you have a boyfriend then he’ll back off.


ROSAMIE

(hopeless) I wish I’d thought of that sooner.

I said I don’t have one.


MICHAELA

You’ve always been honest to a fault.


ROSAMIE

I’m pretending to text my mum.

That seemed to work. He’s eased off on the questions now.


MICHAELA

(laugh) I guess I’m officially your mum now.


ROSAMIE

You’re the best “mom friend”.

(apologetic) Sorry for bombarding you with texts all night.

You should be dancing, not stuck on your phone for my sake.


MICHAELA

(jovial) Believe me, in the next two minutes I’m going to finish two double rums and spin onto that dirty, sticky dance floor until I can’t see straight.

(reassure) Just try to relax. You’ll be home in no time and then you’ll never see that weird taxi driver again.

As long as you never get a taxi from his company ever again. Just to be on the safe side.


ROSAMIE

I hope so.


Scene 3

ROSAMIE

(nervous) Okay, he just locked all the doors.

Is it just me or is that really weird?

Why would he do that?


[Break]


ROSAMIE

(anxious) Michaela-

I’m starting to get really freaked out.

The taxi driver just took a wrong turn.

(panic) What if he’s not taking me home?


[Break]


ROSAMIE

(worried) Michaela please respond.


MICHAELA

Sorry I couldn’t hear my phone in the bar!

What’s going on?


ROSAMIE

He locked all the doors.


MICHAELA

(reassure) That’s perfectly normal.

He probably just doesn’t want you to dash without paying the fare.

Apparently taxi drivers deal with that a lot.


MICHAELA

Where are you now?


ROSAMIE

I don’t recognize this street.


MICHAELA

Did you ask him where he’s going?

Maybe he got the address wrong.


ROSAMIE

I don’t think so.


MICHAELA

Ask him.


ROSAMIE

(nervous) I don’t want to make him suspicious.

What if he gets aggressive?

He’s still trying to make small talk.


MICHAELA

Taxi drivers are always taking the long route so they can get away with charging extra. Especially if it runs on a meter.

Look, it’s understandable that you’re still worked up about that creepy guy at the bar. But this taxi driver is just doing his job.

Don’t over think it.


ROSAMIE

This doesn’t feel right.

I feel sick.


MICHAELA

(soothing) Just relax. Roll the window down and take a deep breath.

Think about it. You’re in a registered taxi, right? So the guy isn’t going to try anything sketchy while he’s working. It would be too easy to trace.


ROSAMIE

(paranoid) It can happen.

It happens all the time.

He could be a human trafficker. Or a serial killer.

I read about someone from the next town over who went missing last year.

They still haven’t found her.


MICHAELA

Well has he got his license on display anywhere?

What’s his car registration number? What does his car look like?

(reassure) If you want, I can call his company and get them to check up on him. Would that make you feel better?


ROSAMIE

(nervous) I can’t see anything. It’s too dark in here.


MICHAELA

Use the flashlight on your phone.


ROSAMIE

No I don’t want him to see!

I can’t even remember what taxi company this is.

(panic) Oh god, what if this isn’t a real taxi?


MICHAELA

(calm) Look, if you feel that uncomfortable, why don’t you just ask him to pull over?

You can get out where ever you are now and call another taxi.

Or go into the nearest bar and I’ll pick you up on my way home.


ROSAMIE

I can’t. What if he knows what I’m trying to do?

If he thinks that I think he’s kidnapping me, he definitely won’t let me out!


MICHAELA

So tell him you need to stop at an ATM. Or that you want to stop at the shop for some cigarettes.

When he lets you out, you can pay him and make a run for it.


[Break]


MICHAELA

Why don’t you turn on your GPS and send me your location?

What kind of car is he driving?

Give me a color, anything you can remember.


[Break]


MICHAELA

(slightly frustrated/tired) Honestly, you’ll be home in no time. Don’t worry yourself sick over a ride home.

I know you’ve had bad experiences with creepy guys in the past. But this is a relatively safe city.

People get taxis all the time. Things like that don’t happen here.


[Break]


MICHAELA

(calm) Text me when you get home, okay?


Scene 4

MICHAELA

Hey, I’ll be leaving the bar in an hour. If you want, I can come to your place and keep you company.


[Break]


MICHAELA

(increasing worry with each message) Hey, are you home yet?

Did you get my text?

Rosamie, you’re starting to worry me.

Text back when you get this.

(panic) Rosamie please let me know if you’re home safe.


[Phone rings out a few times]


ROSAMIE

(slightly anxious) Sorry.


MICHAELA

(frustrated/relieved) Jesus Christ! What took you so long?

I was about to call the police. But I had no idea where to send them or what to look for!

Where are you?


ROSAMIE

(dejected/nervous) I’m home.

Sort of.


MICHAELA

(confused) What do you mean?

Did the taxi driver take you home?


ROSAMIE

Yeah. He did.

(apprehensive) You were right. He said he had to take a longer route to my house.

Apparently there was an accident on the motorway and he wanted to avoid traffic.


MICHAELA

(sigh) See I told you.

Are you feeling better now?


ROSAMIE

No.

Actually I feel worse.

When he pulled up outside my house, he was still acting really weird.


MICHAELA

Did he make a move on you?

(angry/protective) If he lay a finger on you I’m going to kill him!


ROSAMIE

(uncomfortable) No he didn’t touch me. He was just acting… overly keen.

And when he looked at my house, I realized that now he’d know where I live.


MICHAELA

(slight frustration/sardonic) That’s kind of the point, Rosamie. Taxi drivers need to know where you live.


ROSAMIE

(anxious/paranoid) But what if he came back?

He probably already figured out that I live alone. What if he started looking for me?

He could park just around the corner and find out when I leave for work.

(building tension/fear) He could be there waiting when I get home.

I was afraid he was going to start stalking me like that guy at the bar. The one who shows up at the cafe every day, and kept insisting on buying me drinks.

(anxious, pained) Just like my ex boyfriend, before I moved here. I can’t move again, Michaela. I can’t go through that again. It nearly ruined my life. I spent entire weeks hiding inside my house, with all the curtains shut and the lights switched off so he wouldn’t know I was home. He came to my job, my church, my parent’s house. (hopeless) I couldn’t get away from him.


MICHAELA

(firm, concerned) Okay, I’m coming over.

I don’t want you to be alone tonight. You don’t sound like you’re in a good state of mind.


ROSAMIE

I’m not.

Michaela I fucked up.


MICHAELA

How? What happened?


ROSAMIE

I really thought the taxi driver was never going to leave me alone. I thought it was happening all over again…


MICHAELA

Rosamie, just tell me.

What did you do?


ROSAMIE

After I paid him the taxi fare, it all hit me at once.

The way he winked when I gave him the money… The way he touched my arm.

For a minute the seat belt jammed. I thought it wasn’t going to unbuckle. I thought the doors weren’t going to unlock.

I panicked. Something in me just snapped.


MICHAELA

(worried) Rosamie, what the hell did you do?


ROSAMIE

(anxious, frightened) He’s dead.

I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me.

I thought it was my only option.


MICHAELA

(nervous laugh) Please tell me you’re joking.

Tell me you’re high and you hallucinated the whole thing.

(beg) Rosamie, please!


ROSAMIE

I’m sorry.


MICHAELA

(frantic) Holy shit.

Jesus fucking Christ.

Are you serious?!

[Pause]

Where are you now?


ROSAMIE

Outside my house.

In the taxi.

I was going to drive the taxi away before anyone shows up but the body is too heavy.

I can’t move it on my own.

I feel sick.


MICHAELA

Jesus Christ Rosamie.

[Pause]

(calm) Okay. Stay where you are.

I’ll be there soon.



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